Gimli and Legolas - Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better (by Martin Pearson)

by errandofmercy

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This is a cover of part of Martin Pearson's musical comedy show "The Unfinished Spelling Errors of Bolkien". I couldn't get my hands on a copy of the original (even in this day and age!?) so I made a cover myself. If anyone knows how to get the original recording, please take my money!!!

I think the original original song is from the musical Annie Get Your Gun... which would make this a derivative work of a derivative work! Sheesh o_O

lyrics

by Martin Pearson - from The Unfinished Spelling Errors of Bolkien

Anything you can do I can do better - I can do anything better than you
No you can’t!
Yes I can!
No you can’t!
Yes I can!
No you can’t!
Yes I can, yes I can
Any Orc you can kill, I can kill quicker - with my pink sticker I’m slicker than you
No you’re not!
Yes I am!
No you’re not!
Yes I am
No you’re not!
Yes I am, yes I am
I’m not scared of Strider, or a giant spider
I’m not scared of Uruks, Oliphaunts or Wargs
I’m not scared of anything!
The Witch-King of Angmar?
Och, he fights like my grandma!
Anything you can do I can do better - I can do anything better than you.
No you can’t!
Yes I can!
No you can’t!
Yes I can!
No you can’t
Yes I can, yes I can!
Any blow you can throw, I can go lower - below the belt, it comes natural to me!
Hip and thigh?
Way too high!
Think I’ll pass…
Bite your ass!
No you can’t!
Yes I can, yes I can!
I can cut a Troll up with a single wallop
I can kill an Uruk with a knife and fork
I’m much nicer than a Dwarf
Can your mummy sew?
Yes, she crocheted me this bow!
Anything you can do, I can do better - I can do anything better than you
Any girl you can woo, I can woo fonder - sooner or later I’m blonder than you
You’re a dear
Yes, I am!
Pointy-ear!
Yes, I am!
Are you queer?
Yes, I am! Wait, what was that?
Any hair you can grow, I can grow triple - kneecap to nipple I’m hairier than you!
(Oh, yes you are!)
(Yes I am!)
Get a trim!
Grow a beard!
Get a shave!
Least I can, least I can!
I can shoot a sparrow with a bow and arrow
I can make it splatter, and a good deal flatter
I can beat up anything
Could you beat up Sauron?
Och, don’t be a moron!
Anything you can do, I can do better - I can do anything better than you
No you can’t!
Yes I can!
No you can’t!
Yes I can!
No you can’t!
Yes I can, yes I can!

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released March 25, 2014

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errandofmercy Rochester, New York

Hi, I'm errandofmercy! I am 26 years old and I live in upstate NY. I write music inspired by literature, film, television, and, occasionally, real life. My fandoms include Harry Potter, Tolkien's works, Star Trek, Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell, and a host of others!

I write, arrange, and produce all my own tracks. Tracks that are covers or use borrowed materials are available free of charge.
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